Makeda Loney

If I couldn't fail

Makeda Loney
If I couldn't fail

What would I do if I could not fail?

 

A question so loaded yet so simple.

I let it swish throughout my cheeks

Engulfing my teeth

Finally resting on the bed that is my tongue

What would I do if I could not fail?

 

For starters I would name every single star and memorize every single chart

So when I go to map out my dreams there are a million infinite ways to get there.

Build a launchpad in my bedroom as small as the mousepad on my computer.

And rocket into any location I see fit

You see, when I name all of those stars

The lightyears between each still exist

And the void is just as scary

But at least i'll land somewhere familiar.

 

I’ll name them after my ambitions -

 

Creative Director

Poet

Whole human being

#1 Dog Mom

Free

 

When the horoscopes have rearranged to only tell the stories of my infinite futures

I will hand over all of the alternate realities to the children behind me

What I’ve put into the universe will become my last will and testament

Passing on hope to generations and generations to come

So if I die before those stars explode

I want the passion in those tiny hearts

To cause a cosmic disruption

A anomaly of sorts that David Bowie would be proud of

 

If I could do anything in the world and could not fail

I would make it rain glitter

Just to show that even the most mundane aspects of your life can shine.


 

If I could do anything in the world and could not fail

I would put a black woman in office

So the most hated demographic in the world

Can lead the most hated country

And finally the country may have someone in office they can relate to.

At least the part of this country that somewhat makes sense.

 

If I could do anything and could not fail

I would look you right in the fucking face

And tell you I’ve wanted to kiss you for the longest fucking time

And not have you be weird about it.

 

If I could do anything in the fucking world and could not fail

I would make everyone understand

That Black, Indigenous, Latinx and Trans lives mattering doesn’t make your fucking life matter less


 

If I could do anything in the world and could not fail

I would wrap all the beauty in the world

That her God created

And put it in a box and

Give it to my mother

And tell her this is how much I love you

 

If I could do anything in the world and not fail

No one would be hungry

No one would be scared of their fathers

Or their lovers

Or have abusers in any shape or form

 

If I could do anything in the world and could not fail

I would love myself

With enough passion to just get off

On the fact that I am alive

 

If I could do anything and could not fail. . .

I’d do this life over and over and over again

Until every memory is tattooed on my skin with scars

And ink

And kisses from puppies and lovers

Until I ultimately fail

To breathe again.